Amazing Comics Corp.(#1062R) The offices of the Amazing Comics Corp. in Gotham city is surprisingly small, since the actual printing is done elsewhere. Here, artists, designers, inkers and colorers produce the actual comics, in a series of identical large cubicles separated b y wide flat layout tables. The building probably overlooked a great deal of downtown Gotham at one point, but another building has been erected next door that makes all the windows open onto a dingy alley, and so they've been covered with curtains on the inside and security bars on the outside. Contents: Joe Sandureira Don Mars Todd Renfield Obvious exits: Out Todd Renfield You see before you a man. Or at least you think so. A somewhat chubby guy in his late twenties, this person oozes with anti-charisma. He has an air about him that's vaguely arrogant...okay, really arrogant...and speaks with a whiny sort of slurpy voice. His blonde hair is cut in a fashion more common among 13-year old skateboarders, and his complexion could be better. Dressed in a pair of jeans and a black T-Shirt with the comic book character 'Witch Slut' emblazoned across it, yet strangely equip ped with a Dolex watch, this guy reeks of pretension and oozing salesmanship. Don Mars You see a man in his 30-somethings, wearing an Amber Butane ring and a dirty white t-shirt with the logo for the Roadkill Cafe on it. On the back, he's crossed off the rodents and assorted animal names, and put down the names of favorite heroes. H e's got a silly grin on his face, almost as though he can't possibly believe he - the kindg of fanboys - actually gets to write for DC, never mind do whatever the hell he wants with the characters. His sneakers are untied, and his jeans are too tight. Todd Renfield walks over towards Mars's office, layouts for the "Witch Slut Bikini Special" in hand. He adjusts his pseudo-cool bangs over one eye, and steps in. "Hey, Don...got those fixes on pages 12 through 14. Kick ass stuff." Joe Sandureira sits at his desk penciling a page of Mutant world #400 "Not as good as this Todd... check out the eyes on this one." The radio, staticky and distant, as if it's coming in from the Russian front, gives the news of the looting in the south of Gotham. Someone changes it to music, but the reception is no better. The air conditioning in the office suddenly gives out: on a ho t, sticky summer day like this one, this development is unwelcome indeed. Of course, pretty soon, it won't make a bit of difference. Don Mars's eyes light up. "Yo, really? Lemme see!" He grabs eagerly at the pages, then nearly drools as he scans them. "Heh. Wanna have Amazing Woman guest? Bet we can have 'em get it off behind the beach house, or something." Todd Renfield eyes the air condition, sniffing contemptuously. "Hey, Don...I thought you guys were gonna fix that?" Don Mars ughs. Don Mars says "Me? What the hell are you talking about? I just write. 'Sides," he continues disgustedly, "Your bigass salary cut into the repair bill."" Joe Sandureira whipes his brow "I think I'll draw Iceboy again.. it seemed to work last time to make me feel cooler" Don Mars mutters, "Wanker." Don Mars turns on his deskfan. Todd Renfield smirks in the way only a product of no-talent and all-hype can. "Yeah, what ever, Don." He drops the bristol board layouts on the table. He glances at Joe. "Hey, you read that article in Comics Chronicle...they really slammed you man. Person ally, I don't see anything wrong with your chick's knockers." The rent-a-cop mops his brow with a handkerchief down in the lobby. The secretary (the only female who will give the time of day to these bozos, and she's paid to), enters and says "Uh, hi...do you want me to call the AC place again? I think we're still u nder warranty from last time." Her arms are crossed over her chest, like they, inexplicably, always are in this particular cubicle. Joe Sandureira chuckles and looks to Todd "Well who am I to complain. My books outselling yours!" Don Mars rolls his eyes, then looks at the secretary chick. "Uhh...yeah." His eyes travel downward, wishing she'dd move her arms. Todd Renfield sneers a little at Joe, and is cut off in the middle of a witty retort by the entrance of the secretary. He sulks and looks at Joe's pencils. The secretary thinks . o O (Make one move, I dare you. I'll have a sexual harassment suit on this place in no time flat.) She withdraws, but doesn't turn around until out of eyeshot, saying "No problem." Todd Renfield says "...About Amazing Woman, Don..." Don Mars sighs. . o O ( Such a nice ass. Why'n't she turn around? ) He looks up at Todd. "Yeah?" Joe Sandureira grabs a sketchpad and does a quick cartoonish drawing of the boss in a somewhat akward position. Todd Renfield says "Don't you remember? You killed her off last month." Don Mars smacks his forehead. "D'oh!" He looks thoughtful. "Well, I can either have her ghost come back, or I can, like, radiate her grave or something. Wait, didn't I atomize her? Oh! Easy." He grins. "I'll have her spirit come back and inhabit Herogirl's body, and they can have an aangstfest in bikinis." The secretary's bright laughter rings out down the hallway. It's musical and happy and everything a woman laughing should be. For just a moment it hangs in the air, as she draws a breath between bursts of laughter. Todd Renfield shrugs a little, making a short snort as he clears his sinuses. "I mean, I could like, ressurect her...nobody'd notice. But, if I do, I wanna try that thing we were talking about. With the guns...y'know...Amazing Woman turns out to be the daughter of the head of the Bloodsplatter Ninja Clan...like we did with Holy Holies and Rocket Weasel." Todd Renfield says "No more of this like wimpy 'I don't kill' crap. The kids...and I know the kids, Don...the kids, they like a little violence with their splash pages." Joe Sandureira hears the laughter and glances over to his companions "I think I just heard the secretary give her response down the hall." He grins "You guys arn't serious are you?" Don Mars glances at the door, then back at Todd. "Yeah. Yeah, 's good." He wipes his brow. "Damn cheap AC." The secretary laughs again, a little louder, as if she's coming back to say what's so funny, and then there is a loud BLAM KA-SHLAK of a shotgun blasting and recocking, coming from the lobby. The edge of hysteria in her laughter is somewhat evident. Todd Renfield jumps. "What the...?" Don Mars stands up quickly, alarm written all over his face like cheap four-color ads. His chair is knocked over backwards, as he staggers toward the door with sluggish twinkie-fed movements. Joe Sandureira blinks "Holy!... What.. what's going on?" Don Mars sticks his head out the door. "WTF?" Todd Renfield turns, his stylish bangs slapping around in his face. He adjusts them like opening a pair of curtains, and stares through the office window. "Dude...there's something wrong, I think. Call that guy. The one with the gun." Don Mars looks back at Todd. "What, the rent-a-cop? Wasn't he inna hall with the babe?" The secretary's face is twisted into a grotesque grin, she has collapsed on the floor, giggling and grasping at her throat, as if choking for breath. Two men in suits and...gas masks?...are striding down the hallways, one carrying a machine pistol and one carrying a shotgun. Behind them, more laughter starts, this one male, and that's the least of it: chilling, slithering down the spine. Todd Renfield says "Hey...Joe...go...check." Joe Sandureira looks back to Todd "Me? Why me?" Don Mars uhhs, backing away from the door. His face is ashen as he says, "Yeah. Uhm. Jo, you check. And, uh, get me a Soder or something." Don Mars holds up aa fiver. "I'll pay you." Todd Renfield backs further into Don's office, nearly knocking over a cardboard standup of Blastomatic, the Apoxian Avenger. "Hey man...seniority." Don Mars begins checking over the windows, but they're all barred on the outside. "Shyte," he mutters, and looks for a closet to hide in. Joe Sandureira's eyes widen as he looks out he looks to the secretary "Oh.. oh my g.. god... she.. she.. she.. d....d.." He studders so bad he cant finish the sentence There is the unmistakable sound of the machine pistol being cocked. BRAAAAack, it says, probably two cubicles down. The other laughter gets closer. "Stop the presses!" a sneering voice calls maliciously. Todd Renfield briefly checks his wallet. He checks the bills inside. "Okay...5 grand gotta be worth something...right?" He then takes off his Rolex. "A good 10 grand worth...yeah..." He perks up with staring eyes at the nearing voice. "Oh, christ...its him..." Don Mars's eyes widen until they resemble those Joe draws. He lets out a little whimper, and faints, eyes rollng back into his pasty face. There is another BLAM KA-SHLAK, this one from the archives room. One cubicle left between the men and this one. Todd Renfield tugs at his t-shirts collar, and starts backing out of the office, hoping to make a break for another room. He mutters 'stay togetha cheeks' in a mantra-like fashion as he bolts. Todd Renfield thinks . o O (Sorry Joe...but I've got fans to not disappoint...) Joe Sandureira stands flat against the wall of the office "It... it.. him.. We're dead oh my god oh my..." Don Mars slowly comes to, mumbling something about his mother. He finds himself slumpped against the wall, and wondders why...then he remembers, and (like the silly moron he is) screams like a girl. "Aieeeeee!" Joe Sandureira blinks and covers Don's mouth quickly with his hand "Shut up you fool... he... he.. he'll hear us for s..s..sure." He looks around Hideous laughter echoes loudly behind Todd as he runs, and suddenly there is a clattering sound behind him, followed by a PFFFZZZSSSSSSsssss of escaping gas..."Faster than a speeding...er...snail? Slug? No, I've seen some pretty quick slugs in my time." the voice (he -can't be that close, can he???) says. The men come to the cubicle with Don and Joe at just about the time the Joker does.... Don Mars whimpers some more, cuz it's the thing to do. Joker(#1012Pwfces) Six foot two, maybe three, this tall, thin man with the chalk-white skin and the blood-red lips cannot be ignored. His hair is wavy and neatly combed, dark green. His hands are long and his fingernails are an equally green color. Blue eyes sparkling with some unguessable mirth stare out of his long, thin and wholly unmistakable face. His appearance and burbling, musical, ever-changing voice give him a demented sort of charisma, attracting and holding the attention of onlookers with the casualness of the seasoned performer or the long-stalking and now suddenly-visible predator. At present, he is wearing a long, purple coat that hangs casually unbuttoned to just above his knees. Beneath that, a single-buttoned blue suit coat covers a forest green vest and a jet-black dress shirt, adorned with the spiralling colors of a red-and-blue ribbon tie, neatly done up into a knot. His pants are striped light purple on dark purple, and his shoes, wingtips, are blue on green. A broad purple hat with a dark purple band adorns his head. All the clothes are masterfully tailored, but they serve only to further accentuate his bizarre appearance. Joker looks in. "What was that?" he shouts, apparently unmindful of the gas moving slowly back towards him. "Who screamed in here?" Joe Sandureira's eyes widen "Oh.. m.. m.. my god..." He points to Don as the question is asked, then wets himself. Joker runs a pale white hand through his green hair and grins maliciously inwards, his teeth broad and white, like hotels on the Florida coastline. Don Mars's eyes - is it possible - grow wider, even, than the manga-wannabe freaks Sandureira likes to draw. "Me? N-no, it was him! Him!" He points to Joe. Todd Renfield crawls into the corner of the room, sweat pouring down. He tries to move, but only manages to vibrate his lips. He looks at the gas, and tries to hold his breath. Joker curses. "Can't I even get a straight answer around here? Shows what promoting illiteracy will do for you." He pulls a dark metal gun from inside his purple coat (a coat in summer?) and covers his eyes with his purple gloves, waggling the gun between the pair....squeezing the trigger.... Don Mars praays like he's never ppraayed before... Joe Sandureira covers himself quickly behind Don. A flag marked 'BANG' drops down from the gun...the lances out across the room at Don with a burst of steam, the point burying itself in Don's neck. Joe Sandureira cowers behind Don muttering to himself incoherently. Todd Renfield thinks quickly (okay...relatively quickly) and takes out a pile of signed and numbered polybagged issues of Bloodspatter: A Night Of Slaughter. He continues trying to hold his breath, and almost smiles a the image of his vaguely humanoid superdeath machines on the covers. (Got almost 20 grand worth right here...he's gotta want to be on the cutting edge...right?)Oo. Don Mars shreiks once, then falls to the ground, face contorting.. Blood splatters onto Joe. The Joker opens his fingers. "Your lucky day." he says. "You get to asphyxiate! For a better world, eh?" He looks back up at where Todd's face is probably turning blue. "Aw, look at the cute little imp." he remarks to the man with the machine pistol. "Give me the gun." The man instantly does. The Joker's smile disappears as he points it at Todd with unnerving rapidity. "Don't move." he says with deadly seriousness. Todd Renfield shows the comics, the rolex, and the cash, which sort of fall from his fumbling fingertips. Unable to hold his breath anymore, he sputters "Look! First edition multi-covered holographic signed editions! By me! Hee...Hee...! Its worth tons, man! I'm hot! Real...ha-ha...hot!" Joe Sandureira hears the Joker's words, then starts to breath in the deadly gas more Joker reaches out to Todd's side with one purple-gloved hand. The gas doesn't seem to affect him one bit. Of course, with that grin, how would you know. The tips of the Joker's fingers suddenly -fly- into Todd's side, tickling like...well...like crazy. "Don't laugh! Don't laugh!" the Joker says. The gun is at Todd's head. Joe Sandureira starts to wiggle, and then smile, then chuckle. The gas takes over and he dies with a grin next to Don. Todd Renfield tries to keep a straight face, sniggering a little. He points helpfully at the comics, eyes watering up. A few snorts more, and he has to cover his mouth with his hands. Joker tickles Todd unmercifully. "Don't laugh!" he says, smiling himself, a big grin, an immense grin that would split lesser faces in half, and probably has. "You want to go out with dignity, don't you? For once in your life?" Todd Renfield thinks . o O (No more conventions. No more adoring 12 year olds. And I just had that animated series in production. Its not fair. Not fair.) Todd Renfield nods mutely between stifled whimperings. He looks with puppy dog eyes at the gun. Joker keeps tickling, grinning wider. He seems to know -right- where the most ticklish spots are. "On the other hand." he says. "This is your last chance." Don Mars has been giggling and snorting and generally making mmirthful sounds, and he begins to choke. He holds his hands to his neck, ripping at the dart, and trying to get some air...but failing. He chokes, his facee turning blue, and his grin growing to mythic proportions. He starts bleeding from, hell, you can't tell where, there's blood all -over-....and with a final hysterical chortle, he stiffens into a rictus of agony. Todd Renfield can't hold out anymore, and suddenly starts laughing between his fingers; loud, brazen, desperate laughs. He manages to get out "But...I'm....Todd Renfield!" then continues the guffaws, looking at the steady gun in the Clown Prince of Crime's hand. Joker stands up as the gas takes it's final effect. Just as Todd's eyes begin to freeze for the last time, he holsters the gun. "Correction." he says. "You -were-." He turns away from the slumped artist. "Take what we came for and toast the rest! We're increasing some prices today, boys!" he calls to his men, who set immediately to work..... Todd Renfield lies there, smiling broadly, the piles of reproduced non-writing and demi-art lying all over his pathetic corpse. Joe Sandureira lies there with a grin on his face. Well at least he died happy, or so it looks.